Props to Bill S

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages - comment by Bill S at World o' Crap


Oh yeah-Eve chopped down the apple tree and said the snake did it.

But God said, “Oh, c’mon! He’s got no hands! How would he hold up a hatchet? Oh my Me, you’re stupid!”

At which point the snake interjected, “Well so much for it being the Tree of Knowledge! I hope you still have the receipt for the darned thing.”

To which God replied, “Aaah, shaddup.”

And that is why, to this day, snakes don’t talk.

Remarks on the Tiller Murder

It can't be said often enough - anyone who thinks abortion is morally wrong doesn't have to have an abortion. Ever, under any circumstances. You can give birth to a doomed baby, you can risk your own life if you have medical complications, you can have as many children as you want.

It's only the irresponsible and selfish who want the right to abortion, isn't it? Women want abortions for "convenience," so they can fit into a prom dress. Why bother with condoms and pills when you can just have a surgical procedure once or twice a year? Pregnant women routinely wait until the third trimester to decide if they really want a kid, then waltz off to abort as casually as they would go to have their teeth cleaned.

The responsible and unselfish, on the other hand, think it's moral for a 13-year-old incest victim to give birth. It's moral to give birth to a child who will likely die shortly afterward; likewise if the child is merely severely handicapped and will spend its life in an institution. It's unselfish to have a child you can't care for, even if you have other children whose care will also suffer. They told me in catholic school that there is a special place in heaven for women who die in childbirth, so aborting for medical reasons is just pure selfishness. Do you think you have a right to life?

The moral and unselfish think abortion is wrong because god said "Thou shalt not kill." In a little-known footnote, god added "Unless you disagree with them on the abortion issue."